All about Me

64 Random Things About Me

1. I was born in 1974.
2. I don't like wine.  No matter how sophisticated I think it would be to drink it.
3. I was adopted by my late father, he died a few short years ago, and to this day I feel that I'm to blame.
4. I act like I don't have a care in the world, when really I worry constantly about everything.
5. I am deathly afraid of water.
6. I played the flute for 8 years.
7. I waited until I was 36 to go back to college.
8. I have only visited 10 states, and the only country I've ever been to is Canada.
9. I'm the mother of four. 
10. I love music, country, rock, pop, top 40. alternative, classic rock, classical, the list goes on and on.
11. I have only lived in 2 states.
12. I would love to learn sign language.
13. I have one leg that is almost an inch shorter than the other.
14. I am constantly frustrated with the school system in my community because the kids who really need help slip through the system.
15. I used to chew on erasers, until another student convinced me that I would get lead poisoning.
16. I wish I could quit my job and be a stay at home mom.
17. I have a membership to gym I never use, and will renew it annually just so be able to say I have one.
18. I would give anything to have my dog Bandit back.
19. I am working on a Bachelors in Legal Studies, with a final goal of becoming an attorney.
20. It makes me angry if I don't get A's in my classes now.
21. My high school grades were so bad I almost didn't graduate.
22. If I was on death row my "Last Meal" would be ribeye and sweet potato.
23. I support the right of gays to marry.
24. I love being short, even if my 12 year old is taller than me.
25. I was never an athletic child, but admire that trait in my kids.
26. If I could move back to my home town I would in a heartbeat.
27. I am extremely competitive even with myself.
28. I want to own a miniature cow!
29. I adore everything pink!
30. I am claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, deep water, and being alone.
31. I truly am a creature of habit.
32. I have a very strange form of OCD (in my opinion)
33. I suffer from panic attacks.
34. I ate peanut butter and black raspberry jelly sandwiches almost every day from 1st grade through 8th grade.
35. I rode an elephant for my 10th birthday.
36. I love food, and trying new foods is a new found love.
37. I love to sing, even if I'm not very good at it.
38. I am very rarely seen without a cup of coffee in hand.
39. I still use the TV as a babysitter on occasion. I admit it.
40. My favorite movie is Dirty Dancing.
41. My favorite movie quote is from Hope Floats
42. I have VERY expensive taste. But don't have the funds to match it.
43. I love my car, even if it will cost more to fix it than to buy a new one.
44. I've never read the bible.
45. I have a lot of great ideas but no idea how to implement them
46. I am the queen of fake it 'til you make it.
47. I love learning new things.
48. I'm a people pleaser. 
49. I was a horrible parent when I had my first 2 kids, and feel guilty about it. 
50. When I threaten to knock some sense into my kids, I'm afraid someone will believe it and report me for child abuse.
51. I worry .....about everything.
52. I hate the town I live in.
53. I want to blog daily but always find something else I want to do.
54. I want to be a rockabilly girl.
55. Google is my best friend.
56. My lucky number is 13.
57. I was never one of the popular kids in school, and liked it that way.
58. I am a huge advocate for chiropractic care.
59. I am horrible with money.
60. I enjoy a good quality beer if I'm going to drink. New Belgium is my favorite.
61. I was 38 before I got drunk the first time.
62. I used to smoke and quit cold turkey when I got pregnant with my third daughter.
63. I really do love my job.
64. I hate the fact that I've put my fiance in the position he is in now.

Making something of myself

Have you ever woke up one day and said.....

I'm just tired of being who I am, and now I'm ready to be me.


That was me. I'm still working on it, I haven't found ME, yet.  It's an endless journey, but it's one that I'm more excited about every day.   I came out of one bad relationship into another, wasting 16 years of my life living with men who made it their mission in life to destroy me.  The places I have allowed myself to go as a person, and the way I've allowed myself to feel about who I am and what I'm capable of, disgust me.  I wish I could blame the people who put me in that position....but to this day I can only blame myself. I am the one who allowed it to happen.

There are people in my life who would like for me to believe that it wasn't my fault that it was these other influences in my life who caused it.  Perhaps they are right.  I still can't place blame for anything in my life on anyones shoulders but my own.  Maybe that is the strength I have now, that new ME who can't accept that I was ever that weak.