Thursday, May 23, 2013

What in the world am I doing here?

I don't remember what I was doing, wandering around Pinterest most likely, when I came across a blog post by Blogging With Amy. When I read her great post about avoiding taking on new projects, all those great ideas that are stewing around on your to do list, but never seem to come to fruition. I have a list like that.  It contains everything from the mundane little things like organizing my desk drawer, to things that really do have a pressing deadline like getting those International Business assignments done, and lastly those dreams that I have for where I want to see my life in the future.  I confess that even after initially reading Amy's post I still didn't give much attention to this list beyond making it grow and putting off, putting off, putting off.

Just exactly where in my day was I supposed to find time to do these things?  I'm married to my job, not a day goes by that I don't have at least brief contact with my store, or the other stores that report to me.  I own a small zoo; 4 horses, 3 robo hamsters, 2 red ear sliders, 1 box turtle, 2 African Grey Parrots, 1 cat, 1 leopard Gecko, and a rabbit.  All of which are highly spoiled, and get more than their share of attention. Most of my free time is taken up by the needs and demands of my four kids, and of course I do have to find time for my incredibly supportive fiance.  Did I mention I'm also a full time student? What more could I possibly want to do?  EVERYTHING. There are three pretty big things on this list that are near and dear to my heart.  Two of them are going to need some financial backing that I just don't have at my disposal right now.  But the 3rd, I can see, taste, touch I just need to get moving on it.

So, why don't I get to it? Something always came up.  A youtube video on horse training that I just had to see, a new music video I can't possibly wait to watch, facebook, pintrest, the list goes on, oh wait...I have to get some gaming time in to decompress!!  I just don't have time...right?  right?  hmmmm....that's what I've been telling myself.  Even after having read Amy's post I've had myself convinced that this is why I have yet to make a step in the direction of my goal.  It wasn't until last week when I looked at my store and realized that something had to change or we were all going to be looking for a new place to work.  Not only that, but the reality of the situation is that it may be to late to repair the damage that's been done.  It's starting to look like time for me to consider other options, to keep them in my back pocket ready to run if I need to.

Here's the thing, what I want to do is not an easy task, and for sure not one that is going to take off over night. Under the circumstances, my insecurity over my current employment, and the lack of jobs in our area that pay over minimum wage I need to get my tail in gear.  That is when I remembered Amy's post.  You can read her post here "What Are You Avoiding? And how?", I now realize that all of these little things that are keeping me too busy to get moving are just excuses for me to avoid taking the first steps, and why.  Because I'm scared, scared that I'll never make it, that I'll never be able to succeed.

Now, it's time to move on, and really get started.  Wish me luck, and follow my progress.

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